A surrogacy journey, jointly documented by Surrogate and Intended Mother.

Friday, 31 August 2012

Little Hitchhiker 2

As Niki has said, Wednesday really was a truly exciting day. We had a lovely time at Westfields before transfer (boys probably slightly less than us as they had to keep themselves busy whilst we hunted for bargains) and sauntered down to the hospital munching our sweets and still chatting and laughing.

Sitting in the downstairs waiting room was the most nerve-wracking part for me; at that point we had no idea how many (if any) embryos had made it to day 5. We went upstairs to the next waiting room (edging ever closer to the transfer theatre) where as Niki says, there were other couples looking v sombre. It made me appreciate again what a huge huge (cannot emphasise it enough) plus the incredible friendship is when you're going through surrogacy; they say a problem shared is a problem halved and I'm sure having 4 of us in this together helps make it easier.

We were called in to discuss the embryos and the lovely embryologist said "it's good news" very swiftly which slowed my pounding heart down somewhat! Out of the 8 that had been developing, 2 had made it to good quality blasts, with the others still alive but further behind. The decision then arose as to whether to transfer 1 or 2, and after some conversation between the 4 of us and advice from both Dr Carby and the embryologist, we went for 1.The other good one (along with 1 other good one that caught up and 2 average ones) would later be frozen and put into storage.

After gowning up and spending a silly few minutes playing "what can we turn the paper square into" we were taken in. I think one moment sums Niki up pretty perfectly; we were in the transfer theatre, Niki was lying on the bed in a hospital gown, legs in stirrups, and she turned to me and said "are you OK?". As always, worrying and caring about everyone else.

The star itself, little hitchhiker (photo taken through microscope just prior to transfer)

As I've mentioned before, I have a love/hate relationship with the 2ww. I love the possibilities it offers, the fact we're PUPO (or SPUPO as some of the lovely Hammersmith hospital ladies I chat to have renamed it for us, the S standing for "Surrogately" which is now officially a word....) I love the fact that we're so close we could almost touch it, that we've already overcome so many obstacles. On the other hand the what ifs can drive you crazy, and the idea that it might again be a negative is very hard to digest. I cannot imagine the pressure Niki feels; I know how much she cares and how much she wants this to work for us, and I know whatever the result, this superstar lady could not have done more & we are eternally grateful regardless.

You might be able to help keep us preoccupied. Obviously we cannot really blog about progress for a bit, so we thought you might have questions for us. Perhaps those reading who are Niki's friends and family have questions for me, and vice versa. Or perhaps there are questions which are easier to ask written down than face to face. Anyway, if you do have any, please ask away, we're both happy to answer what we can and as I say, it might keep us busy and sane!


  1. Question 1:
    What did you make out of the paper square???!!! (I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to know)

    1. I've thought about this lots but I think that's just too personal a question for me to answer.

  2. PS - Niki, you are truly an amazing lady. Thank you (doesn't really sound good enough does it? :/)for all you are doing for two of my most special Friends. Looking forward to the exciting times to come and to getting to know you and your family better too x x x

  3. I also liked that it asked me to prove I'm not a robot when I seconded Ruth. I feel I've clarified something huge there for myself as well as Blogger.

  4. Hi, just signed myself up (having created gmail for the purpose). I am Laura, Nikis cousin. I have been chatting to Niki loads about this and keeping informed that way and am so proud (f that is the correct word??!) of Niki. She is a wonderful person and always has been and I am not at all surprised that she is doing this for you guys. One of the things that has struck me most is how much you and Adam clearly mean to Niki. She popped down to me for a few days before transfer and it was clear then she adores you both and I think that has made this all so much easier for her. I personally am someone who has many times considered being a surrogate (not at the moment but maybe one day) and so having someone so close to me go through the journey is invaluable in terms of my understanding.
    This Blog is fantastic for updating us all and I am so excited for all of you. I hope one day to meet Em and Adam and I hope more than anything that this is successful for you guys. X

  5. Hi Laura, lovely to "meet" you! I cannot put into words how amazing I think Niki is. Not only is she carrying our little hitchhiker for us (think that's pretty indescribably amazing in itself...!) But she is already a very special friend who is a constant source of support, laughter and bad influence when shopping ;) I feel hugely lucky. Hope to meet you at some point too! Thank you for your lovely words x