A surrogacy journey, jointly documented by Surrogate and Intended Mother.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

11 days in

It's been 11 days since we found out we were pregnant. In some ways, it feels more real, but in most ways it still feels like a surreal and magical dream. Every morning I wake up and remember all over again that Niki is carrying our little hitchhiker (LHH) and my heart skips a beat in sheer joy. It's so early on but already it's consuming the majority of my thoughts; I can only assume that that's like most women who have found out they are expecting.

On Saturday we went up to see Niki and Steve. We were so excited about seeing them, and I couldn't stop thinking that we were going to be near to our LHH for the first time since transfer. We arrived, greeted as always by a fantastic excited happy feet dance from Beth and lots of hugs and joyful squeals ensued. Niki looks fantastic, and if she was feeling poorly (as she frequently is at the moment thanks to LHH) she was hiding it very well. We had a lovely catch up over lunch and then a hugely exciting moment - Niki (the generous soul) lent us some wee so we could take a pregnancy test! It may sound daft - we already knew the result, but even so I still felt nervous watching the timer flash and waiting for the screen to change...and still felt utterly elated and emotional to see "Pregnant" flash up, in the test I was holding with my own hands. We headed home grinning from ear to ear and feeling hugely excited, and with it beginning to feel a little more real.
Jack and I enjoying sunshine and ice cream.

The next day was a little different to put it mildly. I had just got home when Niki messaged; she had had a small bleed, and whilst trying to reassure me and telling me to try not to panic I could tell she was also really scared. It was a horrible 24 hours; I was so worried about Niki and about what might be happening to her, worried about LHH and panicking that it was all over before it had even really started. I felt absolutely useless being so far away, and powerless to do anything. Niki booked a scan at her local EPU for the following day and all we could do was wait.

As the afternoon went on, we both felt calmer (the boys remained calm throughout or seemingly so) and nattered on the phone reassuring each other that things were probably fine and that there was absolutely nothing anyone could do so we just had to stay positive. Sure enough, luck was on Cheese Teamcake's side and the scan revealed no sign of any problems, and everything looked just as it should for the 5th week of pregnancy.

It was a horrible 24 hours but trying to find a positive, I think it did a number of things. Firstly it reinforced just how amazing Niki & Steve are and how strong we all are as a team. Secondly, it was a reminder as to just how precious and delicate this is and how early on we are. And thirdly, we got to see LHH on a scan photo for the very first time. A tiny blob admittedly, but the most beautiful blob I have ever seen. I really feel like we've passed some sort of initiation test into the expectant parents club!

We have given LHH a firm talking to and are hoping for no more naughty behaviour. We have our 6 week scan (viability scan) next week which all four of us will attend. I'm naturally nervous about it but so so excited at the prospect of seeing our LHH on the screen, and possibly even a heartbeat. Our gorgeous teamies are coming down to Surrey this weekend and we can't wait to see them. Bring on the good times, the smiles and laughter and then please keep your fingers crossed for our 6 week scan.


  1. We have everything crossed for all of you, in any pregnancy these first 12 weeks are by far the most worrying! If joint will power from people makes a difference to these things I think you stand the best possible chance!

  2. What a week! So glad you're all basking in the joy of this bit and getting excited; we all know it's early days but there's also been some very good news. Well done team. Keep us posted with news from the scan!