A surrogacy journey, jointly documented by Surrogate and Intended Mother.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Telling people

The last week or so has been filled with the joyous task of telling people that we are having a baby. I was terribly excited about it, as it's not something I thought I'd ever be announcing, but was slightly nervous as well. Up until then, the only people we'd told were close family and friends, so people we knew would be supportive and happy for us, and who already knew we were pursuing surrogacy and understood what it involved. I needn't have worried; everyone either of us have told has been delighted, interested, and generally lovely. 

When it came to telling people, I realised I needed to think quite carefully about my wording. "I'm pregnant" obviously was a no-go, and I opted for "I'm having a baby", and then swiftly following that with "it's not in here though" gesturing at my stomach. (I never noticed before, but people look at your stomach when you say you're having a baby, totally subconsciously I'm sure!) Everyone has reacted really well and most have asked questions which is nice as I love talking about it because this is my (albeit unorthodox)  pregnancy and I'm absolutely buzzing about it!

My biggest fear was definitely telling my workplaces. As you may have read in our FAQs post, intended mothers (women like myself who will become mummies through surrogacy) are not currently covered by any maternity rights whatsoever. Happily, the government has announced that this situation will be changing soon, however we don't know when this will be and it's unlikely to be before Little Hitch-Hiker enters the world. I have now had the conversation with my workplaces and both have been very positive and supportive so far.

Telling people has definitely made it feel more real. I do feel like a bit of a fraud receiving congratulations as it's Niki that's doing all the hard work, but she says I should just enjoy it! Making this blog public was a nerve-wracking but important step for both myself and Niki, as we're very keen to raise awareness about surrogacy and help correct some of the misconceptions that are out there. I really hope that it's helping; we've received lots of positive comments and messages about it which is reassuring.

I cannot believe that we're already 15 weeks in, and moving swiftly towards the half way mark. Niki's bump is even more prominent (and even more beautiful) and she can now feel LHH wriggling around on a daily basis. My mind is constantly occupied with LHH-ey thoughts (I suppose this is part of baby brain, albeit with no hormones involved) and I'm absolutely loving it. 


  1. So very very happy for you - enjoy every second! xxxx

  2. Just been reading through your whole blog, have lost an hour at work! Am so moved and so happy for you and a bit teary. I have an IVF baby too! Different circumstances, but still know some of what you're going through. BRILLIANT blog, I wish you all the best. xxxxx